OK. I owe you readers an apology. A few issues back I was ranting about the Tea Baggers, calling them Flea Baggers and other derogatory terms. I looked at the whole movement as a joke perpetrated by a bunch of fools, funded by right-wing Astroturf foundations. Much of that was and is still true, but now a few months have gone by and, being a good cub reporter, I decided to actually sit down and talk to or email a few of the Tea Party minions and I was surprised at what I found.

I found promise. I found what could possibly be the most viable 3rd party in decades. Most importantly and surprising to me was I found myself in agreement on many of the issues they are addressing.

This is no small statement from, “the Michael Moore of Kerrville.” How could my progressive/liberal/lefty self even give the time of day to these crackpots? Well folks, it turns out they have something to say and much of it is resoundingly populist and pro-people. The promise is there but the present direction of the movement has its pitfalls and may lead to the downfall of the best-yet chance to shake off the shackles that enslave us and our elected officials via bribery by corporate and special interest lobbyists that buy our every election and control our every issue.

I believe the challenge facing the Tea Party is two-fold. Their first problem is image and the second is to define how big or small their tent is going to be. The Tea Party seems to make welcome people that most folks would not invite over to dinner. The Aryan Nation is flocking to Tea Party Rallies with accompanying TV and media trucks. The Birthers have a very loud voice in the national perception of this movement.

In trying to draw people to the movement, it may not be a good idea to seem to be coming from a racist or crackpot point of view. Is this to say that there is no controversy over Obama’ birth certificate? Well there’s no controversy for me because that is not the issue from where I’m standing. That’s a shiny object put forth to distract me from my real target. Orly Taiz gets on network TV with her latest futile lawsuit and everyone has a good laugh. And, of course, that puts the issue to bed for most people.

For the sake of argument, let’s say Obama is not a U.S. citizen by legal definition. That his presidency is illegitimate and he was placed in power by an evil conspiracy whose sole mission is the destruction of democracy and our way of life. Let’s assume for a moment that these are facts. I think the problem is that we are attacking the messenger as we always do and not the author of our demise. The conspirators are in the back room and we are again screaming at the janitor sweeping up in the hallway outside. We get hit over the head and direct our anger at the hammer. Instead of looking for a birth certificate, why not seek out who could have pulled off such a fraud in the first place?

So, lets do the math. Who has the resources, money, power and, most importantly, the will to perpetrate such a massive and evil conspiracy? Who can manipulate Obama, Bush, Pelosi, Boerner, Reid and the others of the cast to do their bidding? Who can get the American people screaming at each other over non-starter issues? Who can manipulate the media to keep us at each other’s throats instead of coming together to shake off our oppressors? Whose hand is inside the puppet head?

 If I were the leader of such an evil cabal, I would certainly want to do everything in my power to neuter the Tea Party before it got any traction. I would concoct an evil plan something like this:

First I would use my media and advertising savvy to brand the movement. I would make sure that it was branded as an ultra-conservative movement regardless of what may be progressive planks in the platform. As soon as the movement is branded as neocon, I have made slightly more than half the nation unsuitable for membership. It is now assured that there will be no real dialog within the movement - only a regurgitation of nonsequitor talking points. Then I would make sure that the most obnoxious and lame of their membership become the leaders and fund them through cutout foundations. Finally, as my diabolical coup-de-grace, I would make sure that even if the movement somehow was able to rise above my branding efforts and grow legs, they would espouse only positions that benefited me. That would cover all my bases.

My Tea Party friends, you are furious at the massive bailouts of the banks and insurance companies. Guess what? So is the Left. You are outraged that the Federal Reserve is running the country. So is the Left. You get apoplectic over what you perceive as voter fraud in every election. So does Michael Moore. These are real problems that outrage all of us and yet we are so easily divided by our masters by pointing the finger at their tools and thinking we’re on target. Our nationally elected officials are the targets. We are disillusioned enough to think that we put them there - not those who paid for their campaigns and lobby relentlessly with bags stuffed with campaign money.

Two quick old adages: One - Divide and conquer. Enough said. Two - It has been said that the Devil’s greatest trick was convincing us he doesn’t exist. Our democracy’s adversaries have done a good job at convincing us they don’t exist. Scream at the government - the whipping boys of our rulers who control them. Congress is but a buffer zone for absorption of populist anger. Their greatest victory in their campaign is to convince the American people that they aren’t and shouldn’t be on the same page. Pulling together is downright un-American.